Muffin mania

So.. it was a weekend of muffins, inspired by various recipes I found on Pinterest. To start things off on a Sunday morning, I made breakfast muffins with a basic biscuit dough and topped off with egg, sausage and cheese. These didn’t turn out very well, probably due to the high ratio of dough to filling and needs a little tweaking, both in the recipe and execution. Will post when I have a better handle on this. Next up, a basic muffin recipe, with a little added twist of a cream cheese filling. I used this to make two different types of muffins – carrot cake and blueberry – both of which got rave reviews by my housemates and were consumed within the day. Glee!

These aren’t great-looking muffins as you can tell from the pictures below. Most suffered an internal explosion of some sort, either with the cream cheese filling bursting forth volcano-style or with a pop of juicy blueberry goodness. But if you ignore the messiness and just bite into one fresh out of the oven, you will be rewarded with a warm, moist, subtly sweet muffin that’s sure to hit the spot. Seriously. I couldn’t believe how good they turned out. This recipe is a keeper for sure.

Recipe:

Cream cheese filling: 8 oz package of melted cream cheese, 1/4 cup sugar, 1 tsp vanilla essence. Mix together.

Muffin:

2-1/4 cup unbleached whole wheat flour

1/2 cup sugar

1/4 cup tightly packed brown sugar

1-1/2 tsp baking powder

1/4 tsp baking soda

3/4 tsp salt

2 large eggs

3/4 cup water

1/3 cup vegetable oil

Above is the basic muffin mix. Mix the dry ingredients in a large bowl and the wet ingredients separately. Pour the egg, oil and water mixture into the flour mixture and stir until a smooth consistency is reached. I divided this mix into two, one part for making carrot cake muffins, the other for blueberry muffins. For the carrot cake ones, add 1 tsp of ground cinnamon, a handful of chopped walnuts and 1/2 cup of grated carrots (I find that baby carrots work best for this even though grating them is a pain). For the blueberry muffins, add 6 oz of fresh blueberries. Preheat oven to 400 deg F. Line muffin pan with muffin cups. Spoon muffin mix into cup about halfway then spoon in about 1/2 tbs of cream cheese filling. Top off with more muffin mix. This is optional but sprinkling a little brown sugar on top gives it a nice color and crunch. Bake for about 10-12 minutes. I think ideally to avoid explosions, less than 12 minutes is sufficient.

Peanut butter chocolate chip cake

It’s been awhile since I’ve set my hands to baking anything and it’s strangely comforting to come back to it after so many months of absence. Getting reacquainted with my bags of flour and sugars, combing grocery store aisles for obscure ingredients, the wonderful smells of warm melting chocolate… how did I ever leave baking for so long? I bake as a stress-reliever, for the fact that however screwed up work gets, I can spend one day in the weekend getting my hands dirty making something that although doesn’t always turn out fantastic, is at least satisfyingly successful. The process is a veritable balm for frayed nerves and failed experiments at lab. And of course, sugar helps. Which is why this weekend after another draining Sunday at lab, I came home and found myself in need of creating the sweetest and most sinful-looking dessert I could find online. Ladies and gentlemen, I present Death by Chocolate, the perfect way to go.

 Recipe:
2 ounces unsalted butter
1 cup all purpose flour
1/4 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp salt
1/2 cup tightly packed brown sugar
3 ounces creamy peanut butter
1 large egg
1 egg yolk
1/4 cup plain greek yogurt
1/4 cup hot water
1/2 tsp pure vanilla extract
1/2 cup semi sweet chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 325 deg F. Combine flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt. Mix melted butter, sugar, peanut butter and eggs separately and add to flour mixture. Stir in yogurt, hot water and vanilla essence until batter reaches a smooth and even consistency. Add chocolate chips. Spoon batter into a greased pan (9×9 works well) lined at the bottom with parchment paper. Bake for about 25 minutes.

If possible..

I understand the intentions of people who are concerned, and I would be too, if I were in their shoes. But try to understand the person who is me, who would rather not be the recipient of sympathies and consolations, because all these would only serve as reminders of the failures that I’m trying hard to put aside. I don’t want to talk about it, because it’s not going to help me move on and would only keep me mired in misery, misery that is already hard to endure without having to contend with pitying eyes and hollow words as well. I am grateful for your concern and prayers but please, don’t treat me like I am helpless without them. I just want to get on with what needs to be done and in time, I will bare my soul. For now, just please understand that I need to put up a shell around this mess of myself and would rather not talk about it nor let it be the subject of talk.

A dishing, a dashing.

It doesn’t take much to bring my confidence down to its knees. I’m trying, world, but if every time I take a step, someone so casually and easily knocks me down, is it any wonder that I stay hidden and reclusive? The worse thing is that it’s so unfair.

Processing

Is it a bad thing if you can predict with pretty good accuracy what someone will say in a given conversation? Like the conversation becomes some sort of weird monologue with what you expect the person to say happening in your head before the person actually says it. And if this happens very often, what does it mean? That the person is boring? That you’re too smart for your own good? That you have ADD, are easily distractible and bored by people who don’t mentally stimulate you? Sometimes I think education and science has ruined my life because now even everyday, normal life gets filtered through some kind of analytical lens, making me unable to relate to people who are on a different plane of reference. Ugh am I thinking too much? Yes. Sigh. I should just make myself dumb.

Surrealism for the child-at-heart

bright and vivid, quietly waiting.

Recently came across an article in the NYtimes (here) profiling Shaun Tan, artist/author of several books that you can call children’s books or graphic novels or picture books or whatever. His works don’t fall readily into any particular genre. But wonderful things they are. Just this one picture from The Red Tree speaks volumes.

Sometimes you just don't know who you are meant to be

The accompanying sentences in the book provide just the right amount of perspective and context, while letting the images speak for themselves. And in The Arrival, there isn’t even any text, just 128 pages of gorgeous sepia-toned illustrations that tell a succinct story yet still allow your mind to wander and linger and reflect. These books strike me much in the same way as The Sandman series but with less of the gore and shock. Perhaps sort of innocently insidious.

The arrival - Four seasons

All this just made me think about the way people see the world. Two people could read these stories and one could be completely transformed while the other is just like ‘meh’. Or two people could watch Big Bang Theory and one would find it hard to grasp the humor while the other can’t stop laughing her stupid head off. But there is no right or wrong, right?

Racing against the sunset

Chasing, running, racing? Towards or away?

Sing

Somehow these two songs, though different in genre, are kinda resonating with me now. Kinda anti-establishment. Not sure what I’m rebelling against. Or what I want to rebel against. Maybe my boss hehe.

Tonight

Stop. Slow down. Breathe.

I feel like so many things have been happening recently. People coming in and going out of my life. Work accelerating and slowing, then speeding again. If time was measured in the events that have taken place these past few weeks, I feel like I’ve just lived a few months. But yet, nothing has changed really. When I do take the time to pause and reflect, I wonder – is anything really different? I’ve learned things, met people, been giddily happy for the first time in a long time, been so upset that I lost control of myself… and yet.. and yet. At the end of all this, have I gained anything? Well I guess another question is, do I need to gain anything? Is it just me or do all people feel this lack of purposefulness and uniqueness in their lives, at some point or another?

Lost and found.

Amidst all the pop saturated music playing on the radio stations today, this suddenly came on. Dido has a gorgeous voice and this is just one example of how beautiful and profound her music is. So glad I found this song.